faith, hope, and LOVE.

no matter what i will ever believe, not believe, or continue believing. how ever devout or not devout i may be, i do know one thing: there is always faith, hope, and love on my side.
i have fear, but then i step back and realize certain people have so much more fear than me. i am hopeful for my life and i'm excited for the love i will receive and will continue to give. i have faith in others and i trust that the faith and hope i have will lead to a great life. this great life will have its hardships and difficulties, but that IS life.

the greatest of these is love. love conquers all. 
i love my parents. i love my family. i love my friends. i even love my acquaintances and strangers, at least to a point. i have intensely deep love for my closest family members and my closest friends. i DO believe that love can conquer all. i believe that no matter what happens in life and within relationships, if there is enough love between people, their relationship can withstand everything.
that is love. love, in general.

i need to do this. well, sort of. apparently i love others SO much that i forget to love myself. kind of. at least, according to others. but they don't feel what i feel. it's complicated. i get so much joy from loving others, that to give everything i can to the rest of the world is to give myself so much love as well. i love loving and therefore give myself love, in return. the flaw in it is that to love whole-heartedly is insanely draining. when it comes to physically taking care of myself, i am flawed. i am broken. i don't show myself love. i drain myself til i'm dry. that is what i've been doing. i've been draining myself of love. believe me, i'm working on it as we speak. as i type. now. constantly. right now.
the thing that i need to work on is the "worry less" aspect. it's a process. when you have so much love, it's hard not to worry. to a point they go hand in hand.

here's the thing about love. we all do it. unless of course we are incapable. sociopaths. we all love. we just don't fully know how. we are all flawed and we all love in different ways. love is complicated. BUT no matter how different it is for everyone, i believe as long as we try, we grow in love. our ability to love can develop over time. and i'm so excited for it to develop. like WOAH.

i think there are 3 main kinds of love. there's the love that we as people instinctively have for others if we show any type of care for other human beings. there's the deeper love that we have for those close to us. it is the reason that we have "loved ones." and then we have......drum role please......romantic love. this is the love that i don't really believe i know anything about. well, i know about it. i could probably write about it for days, really. i believe in its existence. i THINK i know what to expect when and if it happens. and i know what i want from it....i think. but i don't know if i have ever felt it, or if i will. this is where hope creeps back into play. i have hope that i will understand romantic love and that i will get to experience it. i have hope that i will not confuse it for infatuation. there is hope. i have faith that i will receive love always. BUT i have hope that of all the love i receive, there will be romantic love as well.

faith, hope, and love, but the greatest of these is love. don'tcha know.
 -k