just so ya knows, this is probably going to become a series of blog posts. a lot of "melancholy toe-tapping" going on over here. be prepared for a mixture of sadness(as i wait to see my fiance again), happiness (as i think of my future with him), and fake patience...because patience is a virtue i don't really possess right now.
now that that's been said, yes, it's time to fake some patience!
here's why:
- i'm getting married in june of 2016
- my fiance' is living in canada
- i STILL don't have my passport and have no clue when i could call off work to visit him.
- his job doesn't give much time for a visit anyway
- it's only june of TWO THOUSAND FIFTEEN
i miss him a lot and get to see him from time to time up until the big day, but i'm just so excited and antsy that i just want my life with him to start already. i know, my life with him is currently going on, but you know what i mean. basically, i need to figure out a way to pass the time without really feeling like i'm "passing time". i'm not going to waist a year of my life waiting to be happier. i'm going to live happy with the life that i have right now, i just need to figure out a way to not be discouraged.
"Wait for the Lord;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord."
be strong and take heart
and wait for the Lord."
-Psalm 27:14
so, patience.
patience is a noun. it is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. it is a beautiful virtue. virtues are virtues because they take strength and will to have. they take a great amount of effort that we are not always wiling to unleash. we all have things we are waiting for. we have expectations. patiently waiting for something can be painfully difficult, but patience is truly a positive virtue i think we must all learn to possess.
to be patient, i think, is to be calm. patience gives us a chance to stop and take a breath and enjoy the littlest things going on in our everyday lives. when we enjoy the little things, we are OVERJOYED by the big things, and the bad things aren't nearly as harmful to our spirits.
patience really makes everything better. BUT, as i said before, patience is hard. if need be, you may need to fake it til you truly feel it can be accomplished. so, until i feel like a patient person, i must fake it. i must figure out how to fake it...
here's how(my attempts):
- i am going to start stretching every day, morning and night, just so i can clear my head and prepare myself for each day
- i am going to keep reading. i don't read much, but when i do, it calms me so much. if i read about patience and personal growth, it'll be even better!
- i MUST keep talking to my wonderful fiance' quite regularly, but still try to keep to the system we have so we aren't suffocating each other due to loneliness
- i want to make sure every day has something enjoyable, if not for me, then for someone else, but maybe both if i'm lucky :P
- anytime i feel a rush of impatient feelings invading my heart i want to stop and think of all that i'm thankful for right here and now
- if i'm REALLY STRUGGLING with patience, i'll just do some more intense wedding planning and accept my impatient nature. lol
now, i'm not the only one struggling with patience. the feeling is definitely mutual between my fiance' and me, but he had some wonderful words to perfectly go along with these thoughts on faking patience.
"first off, it's an endeavor that is larger than ourselves, so it's important to have God's help.
second, is to control your thoughts and behaviors. don't feel patient? ask yourself, if i were
patient, what would i do. then fake it like you were. eventually this becomes habit, and the
fake becomes real."-josh evans
so, there's that.
some plans to fake some patience.
here's hoping i can make it real patience soon enough.
thanks for reading. :)
-k/r
