Sooooooooo, i'm pretty stoked.
It is officially less than six months before my wedding!
Can you tell I'm excited??!?!
Christmas came and went. It was stressful, but glorious, and taking my fiance' back to the airport was much less depressing than normal. This time around, we said our farewell without tear and with lots of giddy smiles because we new the next time he'd be leaving on a plane, I'd be with him. It's such a joy and a treasure to have him in my life and to be able to spend these next few months excitedly getting all the details together for the rest of my life with the best human!
Now that it's the new year and the wedding is up and coming, I've been thinking of those good ole' resolutions and questioning if I've changed and how I've grown in the last year. The answer to that is, YES, I've changed and grown so much in the last year and have learned a lot more about myself that I'd like to share.
So.
I don't have resolutions, per-say. Mainly, this year is going to be about marriage, communication, connectivity, and self-awareness. That sounds like a lot of things, but it's a lot of things that i think a newlywed who's moving away from all of her friends and family should be focusing on hardcore.
I've discovered something about myself.
Since I got to that point in life where I really focused on what people thought of me (I don't think we should care what others think too much, but it happens and it's hard not to), I've compared myself to a lot of people and molded to better-fit the people I was around. I even competed the minute I felt competed with. I never really noticed til after. I wasn't self-aware enough to see how I was acting or what I was doing. It was something that I'd do and then a few weeks or months later I'd think about it and realize how I had acted in the past. It wasn't til lately that I noticed I've never truly been myself 100% of the time because I was trying to be like someone else or compete with someone else. It has come to my attention SO HARD in these last two years because I am loved by someone who loves the real me, and not some pretend person I have been at times. It is such a blessing because I've never felt more like myself. Josh really helps me notice that person that I want to be constantly and not just sometimes or around certain people.
No matter what, if you are adaptable, the people you are around most often do tend to rub off on you at least a little. I know with every passing day I become more and more like my future husband and many others, but especially with marriage and moving, I must really learn to remember who I am despite everything else, and surround myself with beautiful people who only make me stronger.
It shall be a year of great change.
A year of truly understanding myself as I'm finally truly on my own.
There's no one for me to compare myself to.
No one to feel guilty for not being like.
Just me, and my husband, of course.
2016 shall be insanely glorious and terrifying.
I can't wait for the adventure that's in store!
thanks, k/r
So.
I don't have resolutions, per-say. Mainly, this year is going to be about marriage, communication, connectivity, and self-awareness. That sounds like a lot of things, but it's a lot of things that i think a newlywed who's moving away from all of her friends and family should be focusing on hardcore.
Being self-aware is something that I'm focusing on the most right now, as I feel like it effects everything else.
(I know i talk about understanding who I am at least yearly on here, but it's a never-ending thing, so expect more, in time.)I've discovered something about myself.
Since I got to that point in life where I really focused on what people thought of me (I don't think we should care what others think too much, but it happens and it's hard not to), I've compared myself to a lot of people and molded to better-fit the people I was around. I even competed the minute I felt competed with. I never really noticed til after. I wasn't self-aware enough to see how I was acting or what I was doing. It was something that I'd do and then a few weeks or months later I'd think about it and realize how I had acted in the past. It wasn't til lately that I noticed I've never truly been myself 100% of the time because I was trying to be like someone else or compete with someone else. It has come to my attention SO HARD in these last two years because I am loved by someone who loves the real me, and not some pretend person I have been at times. It is such a blessing because I've never felt more like myself. Josh really helps me notice that person that I want to be constantly and not just sometimes or around certain people.
No matter what, if you are adaptable, the people you are around most often do tend to rub off on you at least a little. I know with every passing day I become more and more like my future husband and many others, but especially with marriage and moving, I must really learn to remember who I am despite everything else, and surround myself with beautiful people who only make me stronger.
I guess I do have a specific new years resolution after all.
I want to make sure I'm always my whole self especially during this time of drastic change and growth and hopeful maturing with the man of my dreams.
A year of truly understanding myself as I'm finally truly on my own.
There's no one for me to compare myself to.
No one to feel guilty for not being like.
Just me, and my husband, of course.
2016 shall be insanely glorious and terrifying.
I can't wait for the adventure that's in store!
thanks, k/r
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