norma jean

many women have admired marilyn. she's become an idol for her beauty and her shape and her style and her everything. she's beautiful and loved. hollywood has spilled as much of her story that they knew. they displayed her as raw as they could. she's so flawed and yet shes still so idolized. it took me a while to really see why. finally, about a year ago, i fell in love. i love with the idea of marilyn monroe.

i adore her! i want to be like her....sort of.
i don't love her for acting ability or her singing ability, or her smart choices, though i do love a few movies, especially The Misfits. i admire her for her vulnerability. she was a perfectly imperfect mess and she didnt care. i wish she was smarter. i wish she was treated better. i wish she loved herself and was more loved. but no matter what, she was always vulnerable. she bared all. the world knew her secrets, her real hair color, and every scar, dimple or freckle. she didnt give a shit about feminism or anti-feminism. she just didnt give a shit. and i dont think it was in a lazy way, though it may have been scared. i think it was because she was smarter than the world thought. she was smarter. you can be as smart as einstein and still be a moron at times. she has had her share of moronic moments, but i still think she was a genius.
playing an idiot, whether or not she was really playing at all.
living life and loving it as best as she could, despite her own demons.
knowing she is beautiful in her shape and being willing to strip down to the buck and not give a shit.
being who she wanted to be.
hell, even for using her look to her advantage. i do admire that, at least a bit. im for feminism but im also willing to notice that feminine whiles are a gift from God that we MUST use right. whether or not she always used it right, i plead the fifth.

either way, i know her beauty is something to be admired. yes, so many have done it already. now it's my turn.

i have som much that i want to paint about and draw about. why not focus on being me and woman and my admiration for someone who focused on the same thing. here we go.
-k